Why I can't bee comfortable during the Summer.

I'm not a summer person. This is a fact that has revealed itself to me over the last few weeks as the Spring we waited unneccesarily long for heats up. There are reasons. Let me list them.

1) It's hot. I know winter tends to be too cold and I thoroughly enjoy moaning about it being so, but when I am sitting in the sun and feeling the heat get deeper and deeper into my skin I remember that i always prefer being too cold to being too hot. The last 8 months working in a badly ventilated retail store have drummed that fact into me I think.

2) There are bees. And wasps. Today I made a complete fool out of myself as a bee made itself at home on my shoulder. It was a totally inoffensive be and indeed it was even rather attractive, but nonetheless it made me jump about like a lunatic, throwing off my bag and running about. Even then it remained on my shoudler and had to be strategically flicked off. At least it wasn't a wasp. I sympathise with bees even though they terrify, wasps I both fear and loathe (rather undermining my love for all creatures great and small). Anyway, as the weather heats up so bees and wasps suddenly appear everywhere and plague my pitiful existence. Leave me alone, oh striped avatars of summer suffering!

3) There is sun worshipping. I'd like to point out that we are not lizards. Nor are we snakes. We do not need to bask in the sun. Besides getting our Vitamin D requirements from solar radiation (and only requiring very modest amounts of that), we gain no benefit whatsoever from sun bathing. In fact, we increase our risk of skin cancer, and usually end up, quite literally, red faced. Even so, give a brit a square foot of sun and we will flock to it, strip naked and prostrate ourselves within it's golden warmth. Why? I have no bloody idea, but it irritates me that it becomes a central theme of holidaying. Our two biggest holiday pastimes would appear to be sun bathing and getting drunk and I don't see the fun or benefit of either.

When I was on holiday I always wanted to see new places, and learn new things. It was always about discovery, not the beach and the club. The closest I ever get to such behaviour is spending hours in the swimming pool whilst family members grease themselves up like chips and then follow that analogy to it's logical conclusion.

4) Everyone thinks you are mad for not getting excited about the summer. Nuff said.

I do actually like things about the summer. I'm not a compelte grump about it. I love the change of the seasons and believe every one of them needs to happen to keep things running smoothly. I love seeing new plants and animals, new patterns of weather and so on, but now that I no logner need associate the seasom with school holidays I no longer feel nostalgic or sad when it ends, instead I look forward to the slow chill of autumn, the falling leaves, and the shortening days that allow a pseudo-gothic geek like me to feel at home once more. Besides, clouds give you something to look at in the sky...